Photo by Pixabay
Overcoming a hurtful and bitter past often takes superhuman strength from someone who went through it all. Sadness, pain, and bitterness are all inherent emotions that make people human. But staying and living too long in these feelings and conditions would lead to an individual’s downfall if left untreated.
Moving on from a traumatic experience is perhaps one of the most challenging things to do in life.
A person could be tied down by many things that prevent them from taking those steps toward healing and letting go. It could be that the pain runs deep or the feeling of regret is limitless. Or, a significant factor could also be that stigma tied to the person that somehow blocks and demeans their confidence and effort to make a complete turnaround in their life.
The book Real Prison Real Freedom depicts the real-life story of notorious Texas inmate Rickie Smith and his life-changing journey. Prisoners and ex-prisoners are tied to this stereotyped image of dangerous criminals and are generally shunned and rejected by society. This mindset holds individuals as prisoners and moves them farther and farther away from any chance of rehabilitation or changing their life completely.
What if something terrible happened to you, something so physically traumatic that you dreamed of it every night? What if you did something wrong and had difficulty forgiving yourself and moving on in life because society refuses to make you forget?
Why it’s challenging to let go?
People often expect magic behind the phrase “let go.” The truth is so much power, and effort goes into making the act of letting go come true.
It’s not easy letting go of a grudge or anger. It’s not easy to forgive someone who betrayed you the most. The pain and bitterness become a comfort blanket. Reliving sad and bitter memories became an embedded habit, and these negative emotions started cutting people off from the realities of life.
But why are people so attached to traumatic experiences?
A study by the American Psychological Association described that one of the reasons why people are caught up in reliving the past is because of rumination. Rumination is people’s act or inclination to overthink or think about the same things over and over again excessively.
Another reason why people have a hard time moving on is because of their avoidance or refusal to accept the incident that has taken place. They’re in this world of denial, still refusing to acknowledge that something painful or wrong has happened to them.
How to Break Free
If you’re trapped in this world of anger, pain, and bitterness because of a traumatic experience, climbing out of it and breaking free will be difficult but certainly possible and achievable.
Remember that it is normal and an inherent human reaction to feel sad and angry, but staying and living with these emotions for too long is when it starts to become unhealthy. At some point, you must strive to live a healthier and happier life again.
Here are some steps to start living life again and breaking the chains of a traumatic past.
Practice Mindfulness
Mindfulness is the state of being aware, focused, or conscious of the present moment. It is acknowledging, feeling, and accepting all thoughts and feelings going through your body. People who have gone through traumatic experiences are often advised to practice this meditation-like exercise to take all the positive or negative emotions without any interpretation, biases, or judgment. As they say, face it, don’t avoid it.
Mindfulness ultimately helps people to be more compassionate and forgiving towards themselves. Those who have started this journey can begin doing simple breathing exercises, meditating somewhere quiet, or using visualization techniques.
Don’t Let Your Past Define You
Your past may become part of your history that you could never erase, but it should not shape you as a person or your future. Focus on committing yourself to creating a different and better future from what you started. It will be challenging to do so in the face of judgment, stigmas, and stereotyping; that’s why you need a strong will to carry you through.
Make it a daily habit to tell yourself that you’re better and stronger than ever. Put little reminders here and there of your life’s goals or dreams so you won’t lose your way to achieving your prize. Remember not to let what other people think of you and your past define who you are as a person. And always welcome every new day as an opportunity to create and begin something new.
Nurture a Healthy Lifestyle
Your mind can only do so much, depending on how your body functions. If your body is weak, your mind ultimately shares the same condition. Your will to want to change will amount to nothing if your body is not healthy.
Start eating nutritious food. Exercise daily and consistently. Also, make it a habit to get a good night’s sleep and rest as much as possible.
Seek Professional Help
If it all starts to become too much and confusing, and you have no idea where or how to begin, then it’s probably time to seek professional help from licensed therapists. These mental health experts can help you process your grief and traumatic experience the right and recommended way. They’re trained to help their patients clarify their thoughts and feelings and guide them on how to best tap into their inner selves. The best part? They’re also trained on how to listen if you feel the need to rant or cry.
Small Steps
Breaking free and letting go is never easy, but not an impossibility. All it requires is the will, the passion, and the determination for a change and to break free from the chains that bind you to a hurtful and traumatic past – and those small steps that would slowly and surely take you forward.
The Damsel’s Files 