Pursuing happiness and inner peace sometimes requires that we embrace unconventional wisdom in dealing with our problems.

Living in today’s modern world can be stressful and toxic. If not careful, we may find ourselves living a simple life with draining routines, and worse, becoming toxic persons in the long run. However, despite the hassles of modern living, there are ways to find happiness and inner peace. Whether it’s work-related stress, schoolwork, toxic neighbors, a dysfunctional family, complicated friendships, or relationships hindering growth, it is crucial to figure out ways to change these unhappy situations or leave them.

One of the tricky things that prevent us from pursuing true happiness is toxic positivity which is common nowadays.

Toxic positivity, commonly called “good vibes,” promotes the belief that you stay grateful or continue to carry a positive mindset no matter how dark or complicated your situation. It’s a “good vibes only” approach to life. So then you might ask, is being optimistic a negative trait that we must avoid and detest? Of course not. Optimism entails looking for the silver lining in a cloud-filled situation.

But first, we must learn to differentiate healthy positivity from toxic positivity. Healthy Positivity can be defined as the habit of being optimistic in attitude. On the other hand, toxic positivity means forcing yourself to be positive rather than feeling disappointed or frustrated in a problematic situation.

According to thebridgechronicle.com,

“The years after 2015 saw an influx of “Good Vibes” all over the internet. A wave of promoting positivity took over, and nothing else seemed to be tolerated. It almost became a way of life, where people were supposed to believe that “everything will be ok” or accept what was happening by saying, “it could be worse.”

The book Beyond Pipe Dreams and Platitudes by Dr. Geraldine K. Piorkowski features a chapter on positive thinking titled Positive Thinking Isn’t All It’s Cracked Up to Be. Among Dr. Piorkowski’s insights is the observation that positive thinking does more harm than good at times, especially when it bypasses the normal processing of adverse events and emotions. She writes, “Whenever there is heartbreak, no matter where it is coming from, the best way of getting through it is by acknowledging the sadness, disappointment, humiliation, or anger and then working through it. In a healthy person, the processing of negative feelings goes through phases, much like the waves of emotions that accompany grief, until we arrive at a personal resolution that uniquely fits us.” Otherwise, we can suffer from anxiety and/or depression that results from unprocessed emotions. Also, toxic positivity invalidates other people’s feelings and avoids recognizing specific factors and elements in an individual’s predicament.

The way to pursue happiness in this age of toxic positivity is to objectively face your problems and seek realistic solutions to address the issues.

Problems and challenges are among the constants in life. Without them, we cannot grow to be better human beings, enjoying life to the fullest. Therefore, pray not for a problem-free life but for the strength and wisdom to overcome whatever problems are thrown your way. It is important to realize that it’s ok to feel stressed, anxious, frustrated, angry, and even furious when in a dire situation. Still, it is not ok to act on them indiscriminately or violently.

Therefore, acknowledge your emotions; don’t deny them. Subsequently, learn how to navigate through turbulent feelings while actively seeking solutions to them!

Lastly, the road to inner peace is filled with patience, resourcefulness, perseverance, acceptance, and resilience, not with the absence of problems. Obstacles come to us all, but only those who develop healthy coping strategies can hope to achieve grace and consistency in the process.