Losing a loved one to suicide is tragic, and the road to grieving and healing will be long and difficult for family and friends.
Suicide is one of the major health issues in many countries around the world. On average, around 130 individuals commit suicide every day. In the United States, suicide is the 10th leading cause of death, and over 47,000 died of suicide out of the estimated 1.3 million attempts, according to 2019 data. The country is among the wealthy nations with the highest suicide rate. Although the suicide rate has been declining over the past few years, it is still a significant concern, and many families still suffer the loss and trauma of losing a loved one to suicide.
Families who lost their loved ones to crimes, accidents, and suicide not only have to endure the death of their dearly departed but also the traumatic experience of their untimely demise. However, a suicide death is quite a uniquely traumatic experience because it carries a stigma. In some cultures, suicide is taboo, and some victims are even denied final rites. This and other mental and emotional burdens contribute to a devastating loss that often leaves families having difficulty processing, grieving, and healing.
Support systems play a crucial role in dealing with grief and healing from the traumatic experience of losing someone to suicide.
Because of the trauma and the complexities of suicide deaths, grieving and the road to healing may prove difficult for families. Support systems will be crucial in processing the loss and ensuring that they will not succumb to depression. Being with family and friends is essential for those dealing with the loss. While we respect privacy, eventually, they will have to allow people outside the family to care and look after their welfare. Professional help and groups can also help them understand more about their emotions. Discussion among people with shared experiences can put things in perspective.
Reading books on suicide, grief, and healing can also help families learn more from people who have endured the same traumatic experiences. The books Lessons in Surviving Suicide: A Letter to my Daughter and Divine Healing Transforming Pain into Personal Power: A guide to healing pain from child loss, suicide and other grief by Vonne Solis talk about dealing with suicide and embracing the road to recovery. Attending grief or life coaching sessions like those facilitated by Vonne Solis certainly can help as well. As a mother who lost her child to suicide, Solis knows too well the journey. Now she shares her courage and wisdom with others so they too can move on and continue with life.
The period of grief will vary, but eventually, we all need to face reality and choose to heal for ourselves and those who need our love and care.
There is no standard or set timeline for grieving, especially suicide deaths. There is no single roadmap to healing, and sometimes the time we need to grieve and heal may be longer than we can hope it would be. But one thing is essential- we all need to heal.
Suicide death is complicated as it involves certain emotions that other deaths may or may not deal with such as guilt, regret, and anger. Its nature often leaves family members in shock, denial, and the feeling of helplessness and betrayal. To embark on the path to healing, victims first have to come to grips with these feelings. And it is never easy. If these emotions are not addressed or handled well, things could worsen, and the healing may take a long while.
Once emotions are expressed and certain stability is achieved, other steps such as acceptance, reconciliation, and the attempt to get back to the routine may now be addressed. Again, healing and moving on don’t come overnight. Each healing journey is a work in progress.
In the end, we must remind ourselves that healing and moving on doesn’t mean forgetting the memory of our loved one who has died. We choose to heal and move on because we choose to remember the good memories they left behind. More importantly, we choose to heal because we still have family and friends who care for us and are waiting for us to get back on our feet and live a happy and meaningful life.
The Damsel’s Files 